What Stay-at-Home Moms Really Want for Mother’s Day
I am not huge on celebrating special occasions. Birthdays? Yay I survived another year and got more wrinkles, whoopty doo. Valentine’s Day? My husband better be showing me love every day of the year so that he has nothing to make up for on Valentine’s Day. But Mother’s Day? Now, Mother’s Day is different. Mothers spend all 365 days a year working hard to make sure that their children get the best lives possible and always putting their happiness first. But do you think we get the appreciation needed from the little rascals? Nope, we get whines, tantrums, and no sleep as thanks for our hard work. So heck yeah, I am going to celebrate Mother’s Day.
Now that we have established how Mother’s Day is quite a special holiday, let’s discuss presents. Don’t think you can get away with the typical ones because we deserve more. So please, please, PLEASE take these off your shopping list:
Sure, flowers are pretty and good to look at… for a day or two. Then they start wilting and dying. The leaves all fall out like my hair postpartum. The flowers dry out like my skin after it lost all the happy pregnancy hormones. And you think the fragrance will help mask the poop smell that seems to have been stuck in my nostrils after changing hundreds of diapers? Nope, my nose will never, ever, be free again from the unpleasant smell.
Do you think I am proud that I am still wearing maternity pants because my entire closet full of pre-pregnancy clothes do not fit? Do you think I am happy when I run after my toddler I can feel my fat jiggle up and down and all around? Chocolates are one of those presents that may seem perfectly innocent until you find yourself eating an entire box in one sitting and then hate yourself for having no control over being fat. I swear I have abs somewhere underneath all the padding, and chocolates are not going to help me find them.
Like most females, I like sparkly things. Guess who else likes sparkly things? BABIES. Jewelry sounds like a good idea until my baby gets a hold of the earring and rips my earlobe in half, or grabs the necklace and starts choking me with it. You might as well hand the baby a knife to stab me with – it might be less painful. Plus, yoga pants and frumpy nursing tops with diamond jewelry? Definitely a fashion faux-pas.
Fancy Meal Out
If you are talking about eating out with kids, a fancy meal equals trying to shove food in their mouths while making sure as much food stays on the table instead of on the floor; yelling at them to stay seated instead of crawling underneath other people’s tables; and bouncing a crying baby while entertaining an impatient toddler. If you are talking about eating without the kids, then the cost of dinner all of a sudden just went up by quite a bit if you count paying the babysitter. Also, as a paranoid control-freak, I would be sitting at the restaurant with nightmare scenarios of what the babysitter is doing with my kids floating around in my mind. So no thank you, let’s just order pizza and stay in.
Now, onto what stay-at-home moms like me really want for Mother’s Day. Ready? Drum roll, please…
LEAVE US THE HECK ALONE.
All day, every day, we are with our kid(s). They may be small, but they are needy and bossy. Get me food! Change my diaper! Chase me around with food because that’s the only way I will eat! Stay-at-home moms are living on a schedule dictated by their kids. We wake up in the morning way earlier than any human should ever have to, cook breakfast for everyone but too busy feeding the kids to worry about our own stomachs and spend the entire day trying to make the kids happy. Everything, including time to take a short bio break, needs “approval” by the kids. I’d rather hold it in and make my bladder unhappy than deal with a kid throwing a tantrum because mommy needs to go to the bathroom.
So, on Mother’s Day, take the kids, and leave us alone. Give us time to do whatever our hearts feel like without having to think about anyone else. No, we don’t want your input on what to do in the precious alone time that we have. Let us be spontaneous because that’s one thing you don’t do when you are a mom.
What would I do with my alone time? Here’s what I am thinking:
- Sleep in…. until the thought of sleeping more makes me nauseous.
- Hit the gym… so I can spend one day of the year feeling sore from working out and not from picking up the kids all day.
- Shower in peace… and take the time to make sure I am actually clean instead of just splashing myself with water and running out to a crying baby.
- Get a massage… because motherhood is the most stressful “job” ever.
- Eat a meal with friends… and finally be able to eat with two hands and talk without a toddler screaming bloody murder for attention every five seconds.
- Nap… because there is no such thing as too much sleep when you are a mother.
Now, here is the KEY to all of this. DO NOT let us come home to a sink full of dishes, a giant load of laundry or a house that looked like a tornado went through it. That’s like taking the wonderful day we just had and slapping us upside the head with it. And don’t give us the excuses “Well I had the kids so I couldn’t anything.” What, you think we magically poof away the kids for a couple of hours a day so we can do chores? Come on, if we can do it, you can too. Oh, and if you want to make Mother’s Day even more special? If you could just go ahead and prep dinners for the week, put away all the laundry, and give those toilets a scrub, that would be nice too.
What do you have planned for Mother’s Day, and what would you do if you have a whole day to yourself?